Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

If a calculator falls and cracks, can you still use it?

Sometimes, but you can't count on it.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

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David Shafner
General
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After Jim fell into the upholstery machine, what happened to him?

Now he's recovered.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why did the pastry chef cut her chocolate cake at such sharp angles?

She wanted Brownie points

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Where do mathematicians go on vacation?

Times Square

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What meal is happening in Eastern Europe?

Hungary is above Turkey, and next to Turkey is Greece.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was there a rainbow after the flood of Noah's ark?

Because he passed with flying colors.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What can you say about a person who learns to say no?

That now he knows.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What is the study of the family history of Genies called?

Genie-ology.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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