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Akiva Lane
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What is the name of a locksmith store where the locksmith has blond hair

Goldi Locks.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Jerry want to buy a car without a clutch?

He regarded it as shiftless.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

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Akiva Lane
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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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Shane Ronay
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What can be said about the camping trip?

It was really in tents.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't the group of doctors sit down?

They didn't want to be sitting docs.

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Akiva Lane
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What does Leonard Bernstein and copper have in common?

They are both good conductors.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Betty realize after she ate inexpensive cake that was fattening?

That she was penny wise and pound foolish.

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Akiva Lane
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When people asked Noah why he was building an ark, what did he answer?

Noah dea.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

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Akiva Lane
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In a polarized society, what is the result of discussions between people with opposite views?

What is discussed results in disgust.

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