Pictures:

Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001

Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

1460

Why did the baker receive a list of duties from his boss one at a time?

They were given on a knead to know basis.

1497

What did the math teacher try to convey to her class?

Everything has its pluses and minuses.

263

Why dosn't Andrea like eating old mint candy?

Her one requirement is that they must be in mint condition.

2913

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

What do luggage stores, elephants, cars, and trees have in common?

They all have trunks.

2959

Why didn't Pharaoh believe anything Moses said?

It was in a State of de Nile.

547

If the hole of a bagel is filled with black pepper, what is the result?

A black hole.

1694

How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

1529

Why did Martha not appreciate her beautiful kitchen counters?

She took it for granite.

226

What kind of money can't be understood?

Non cents.

858