Pictures:

Why did Billy have trouble learning to speak using future and past tense?

It made him tense.

1511

What do auto mechanics call their rest periods?

Coffee brakes.

1451

What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

1562

If Washington is the most Southern face on Mount Rushmore, what is Lincoln?

The North Face.

1907

Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

1863

How did Linda react when she saw that her bank balance started with a minus sign?

She thought it was a bad sign.

1448

What did farmer Bill Rath call the grapes that grew in his vineyard?

Grapes of Rath.

1490

What's similar between the last stop on a train and a lion's tail?

They are both the end of the lion.

2592

Why did the cinnamon havester quit his job?

He kept barking up the wrong tree.

1796

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

What's the secret to a healthy heart?

Take medical advice with a grain of salt.

3255

What did the rich cow have lots of?

Mooooolah.

1322