Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when the oil candle over Bill's bed fell on him while he was sleeping?

He woke up oily in the morning.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are the tops of mountains called 'peaks'?

Because they peek at us from a distance.

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Akiva Lane
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Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What did the mid-wife say to the woman giving birth?

Grin and bear it.

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Shane Ronay
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How to people from this country justify where they were born?

They must Peruv it.

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Akiva Lane
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What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call it when a person wants to jump into a sewer?

Sewer-cide.

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Akiva Lane
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When you put smart technology into a house, what does it become?

Aware house.

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Akiva Lane
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What's the question about whether the word is spelled 'kibutz' or kibbutz'?

Two B's or not two B's, that is the question.

2009
Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Evelyn go to only one store in the mall?

She felt: You see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What Beatles song is about a bee in a vegetable garden?

Lettuce bee.

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