Pictures:

What did Jim call his life after he decided not to major in math?

The aftermath.

1285

Why were the wafer cookies sad?

Because their mother was away far.

1750

What is a lawyer's favorite girl's name?

Sue.

428

How is a liquor store similar to a nursery of babies?

They both have fine whines.

1567

What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

764

How did we know the Russian musician would be a good match for the ballet dancer?

Because he played the ballet lika.

815

What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

1868

Why is a Phillips-head screwdriver so popular?

People see it as a plus.

1403

What is the official fruit of Florida?

Elderberries

1784

What three letters are not our friend?

NME

2750

What did farmer Bill Rath call the grapes that grew in his vineyard?

Grapes of Rath.

1490

What seeds are named after fathers?

Poppy seeds.

2612