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What is someone called who is wearing a racoon hat?

A tail bearer.

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How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

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Does the Moot Pencil Company make very sharp pencils?

That's a moot point.

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What is built into the walls at Microsoft headquarters?

Microsoft windows.

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How did Andrea feel when she was running out of her favorite red perfume?

She felt bad that she was down to her last red scent.

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What day in September do women give birth?

Labor day.

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Where can one fall?

One can fall asleep, fall in love, fall down, fall ill, and fall into a trap.

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When Emily was on a diet, what were the slowest days?

The fast days.

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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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What is an expert in making signs called?

A sign-tist.

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What day is just before a birthday?

Labor day.

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What's good about using lion bookends?

Then you can read between the lions.

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