Pictures:

If Washington is the most Southern face on Mount Rushmore, what is Lincoln?

The North Face.

1907

Do people enjoy recycling so many items?

Sort of.

1633

Why did the prophet need glasses?

He was far-sighted.

2030

What do baseball players do if they feel bad they didn't win the Pennant race?

They do Pennants Penance.

1624

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

What do you say when you have trouble opening a jar of sesame paste?

Open sesame.

2642

Why don't gluten-free people consume wheat?

It goes against their grain.

436

What permission did the poet need to write poetry?

Poetic license.

1776

Why did Martha become a vegetarian?

She realized what was at steak.

128

Why did Beth wonder if her husband had any thoughts in his head?

Because so often she felt that he acted in a way that was thoughtless.

600

What happened on April 16th and 17th 1986?

This man got his dates mixed up.

1085

What happens when the king's neck hurts?

He has a royal pain in the neck.

1391