Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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Why did the thief who wanted to repent always do things very quickly?

He didn't want to hold people up.

3256
Akiva Lane
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Why did the towel feel so tired after it was used?

It felt like a wrung out towel.

1131
Akiva Lane
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What did Liz drink with tea to try to make a date go well?

Date honey.

1741
Akiva Lane
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How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

2079
Shane Ronay
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Where do gardeners love to shop?

Bloomingdales

1148
Akiva Lane
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What did the table cloth say to the table?

Don't be concerned, I've got you covered.

1961
Akiva Lane
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What is a good name for a company that sells sprinkler systems?

Cease Fire (an actual name of a company)

1244
Akiva Lane
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Why did Jill avoid slapping the bottom of the boulder in the park?

She didn't want to hit rock bottom.

703
Akiva Lane
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What do you call a dinosaur with feet that hurt?

A dino-sore.

1730
Akiva Lane
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What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

2322
Shane Ronay
General
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Why is this wild cat upset?

He was told that cheetahs never prosper.

309
Shane Ronay
General
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Which psychiatry specialty deals with bizarre behavior?

Off-the-wall-ogy

2002