Pictures:

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

Where can one find the best selection of ties?

Thailand

575

What is this man doing in the doctor's office?

Drawing blood.

1043

Why is this bandwagon no longer in use?

Too many people were jumping on it.

1813

What is a good 2-part security method?

Beagles and locks.

2549

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

Why was was it so loud everywhere Tim went?

He liked stealing everyone's thunder.

1320

What was the first name of the woman who invented soft drinks, and where did she live?

Sarah soda

419

Why must all people grow spiritually?

It's our soul purpose.

1993

What did Jay say when there was an explosion at his factory?

"Let the chips fall where they may".

874

Which dog breed enjoys a traditional Jewish breakfast?

Beagles

1520