Pictures:

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

823

Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

1064

What are the options in making it to shore?

Row oar swim.

1500

Why is this wild cat upset?

He was told that cheetahs never prosper.

309

How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

1483

What type of meeting is this?

A Piece Summit.

1455

What is this man doing in the doctor's office?

Drawing blood.

1043

Why did the man buy so much bottled water?

There was a liquidation sale.

1026

Why is voting "Nay" more direct than voting Aye"?

It's straight from the horse's mouth.

1817

What's involved with cloud seeding?

It's just shooting the breeze.

1264