Pictures:

How did the squirrel corner the market on acorns?

He opened many branches.

182

I know the capitals of all 50 States.

For instance, Montana starts with a capital "M".

1431

Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335

Why did Bill not become a gastroenterologist?

He didn't have the guts.

2018

Why did the man give up Reader's Digest?

He had a digestive disorder.

1068

How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

580

What do Navy cadets do to lower belly fat?

Navel exercises.

1589

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

Why do horses have low divorce rates?

They have stable relationships.

2218

Which Russian leader used delay tactics as a military strategy?

Stallin'

852

Who owns the largest number of private business aircraft?

King Lear

321

What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

1147