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How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

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Why does a rope get smarter when you pull on it?

Because it gets taught.

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What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

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How do you describe the protesters living in tents in front of City Hall?

A tent city in a tense city.

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What is the difference between a fish and a bathroom?

A fish has many scales, and a bathroom usually has one scale.

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How did Billy feel when the cookies got smashed?

He felt crummy.

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How did worms get onto Noah's ark?

They came in pears.

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What is a pretty angle called?

Acute angle.

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What do you call it when someone is envious of another person's ability to be as flexible as Jello?

Jello-sy.

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What is the realization that all life begins as a fertilized egg?

It's egg-sistential.

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If someone shook a tree, gathered the leaves that fell and made paper from it, what would the paper be called?

Loose leaf paper.

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What do you call a delicatessen that specializes in lox?

A lox smith.

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