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Akiva Lane
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Is it good to tie something with a frayed knot?

I'm afraid not.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of glue do Eskimos use to hold their ice houses together?

Ig glue.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between doing many things at once and being hit by a lot of taxes?

One is multi-tasking, and the other is multi-taxing.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Bill promise his wife that he would be a billionaire?

Because that didn't look very promising.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the conversation go between a patient and the doctor who wanted him to cut down on mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise? No you may not.

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Akiva Lane
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When Beverly got to the supermarket, why did she first go to the fruits and vegetable section?

Since she was on a diet, it was a step in the right direction.

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Akiva Lane
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What day is just before a birthday?

Labor day.

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Akiva Lane
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If bored people chose a leader, what would the postion be called?

Chairman of the bored.

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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who puts up gates in alleys?

Alley gater.

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Akiva Lane
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Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

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Akiva Lane
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Now that the Peter bought a dairy farm, what will he do with it?

He'll milk it for all its worth.

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Akiva Lane
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Where does a mountain hiker sleep?

On bedrock.

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