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Is it good to tie something with a frayed knot?

I'm afraid not.

1634

What kind of glue do Eskimos use to hold their ice houses together?

Ig glue.

2487

What is the difference between doing many things at once and being hit by a lot of taxes?

One is multi-tasking, and the other is multi-taxing.

2239

Why didn't Bill promise his wife that he would be a billionaire?

Because that didn't look very promising.

2802

How did the conversation go between a patient and the doctor who wanted him to cut down on mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise? No you may not.

1132

When Beverly got to the supermarket, why did she first go to the fruits and vegetable section?

Since she was on a diet, it was a step in the right direction.

1577

What day is just before a birthday?

Labor day.

2441

If bored people chose a leader, what would the postion be called?

Chairman of the bored.

2092

What is someone called who puts up gates in alleys?

Alley gater.

2178

Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

1378

Now that the Peter bought a dairy farm, what will he do with it?

He'll milk it for all its worth.

520

Where does a mountain hiker sleep?

On bedrock.

2763