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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

2526

Why did Jeff like playing basketball, soccer, and baseball?

When he was doing these activities, he was having a ball.

661

What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

2840

What are the great-great grandparents of an ant called?

Ant-cestors.

67

Why are all fish stores in Finland kosher?

Because they have Finns and scales.

820

What was the motto of the company that made horror movies?

We've only begun to fright.

1162

What fictional character had an open mind?

Frankenstein.

2151

What are some things a person can do if they are stuck thinking about the past?

The can buy 'presents' for other people, or go to a river and look at the 'current'.

2332

How did Billy react when he got a box of marbles for his birthday.

He thought it was marbleous.

699

What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

610

Why did Arlene dislike washing the dishes?

It gave her a sinking feeling.

746

What three letters are not our friend?

NME

2750