Pictures:

What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

1581

What did people call the baseball game where everyone got hits that got them onto first base?

A singles event.

2331

Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

1738

Does before come after after, and does after come before before?

Alphabetically yes.

1707

What happened to Martha when she fell into the large strainer that she was using?

She strained herself.

98

Why did the police give the suspect a bowl of beans at the edge of the table?

They wanted him to spill the beans.

942

Why is laughing out loud forbidden in Hawaii?

It's a low ha state.

1909

Did Arlene like the new vacuum cleaner?

She thought it sucks.

1737

What did the young man and woman eskimos have to do on their first date?

Break the ice.

895

What kind of horse has sore muscles?

Charlie horse.

1713

Why was Bob upset when he got a fine?

He didn't think it was fine at all.

1808

What would you name a story about someone took over a singing group?

To acquire a choir.

552