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What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

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What did the waiter say when the customer sent the food back to the kitchen?

Thanks for the feedback.

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How did Matteo feel about being a soccer fan?

It was fan-tastic.

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How did Sandra feel about half the numbers when she was learning arithmetic?

She thought they were odd.

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How do you compare baseball, bowling, and unions?

Baseball: 3 strikes=out, Bowling: 12 strikes= perfect game, Union: strikes are unlimited.

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If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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What vegetable do people mention when they want to leave some place?

They say Lettuce Go.

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What did Beverly say to the nut platter?

You're all nuts!

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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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What animal is similar to a tree that looks like a pole?

Poultry.

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What do you call someone who is an expert about alarm clocks?

An alarmist.

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