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Akiva Lane
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Why did Peter bite into a packet of money?

People told him he should put his money where his mouth is.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did it often rain when Bill was thinking with deep concentration?

Because he was brainstorming.

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How did Arnold feel about his budget?

He wants to budge it.

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What is a break in a wall that is very smart?

A wisecrack.

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What should you avoid pressing when near a cliff?

The press-ipice.

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Why did Bill start running the 100 yard dash?

He wanted to get his life back on track.

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What are the great-great grandparents of an ant called?

Ant-cestors.

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What do longshoremen and medical secretaries have in common?

The both work at the docs.

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What did the mid-wife say to the woman giving birth?

Grin and bear it.

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What is this?

The leaning tower of pizza.

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How did Lisa feel when she found that someone had pressed all the buttons in the elevator?

She found it depressing.

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What kind of glue do Eskimos use to hold their ice houses together?

Ig glue.

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