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Akiva Lane
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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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What did Ben say when the tanks came and saved his village during the war?

Tanks.

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What can you say about a bagel with a very large hole?

It's hole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

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Why did the CEO move the company from the 3rd floor to the 4th floor?

Because he wanted to take the company to the next level.

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Are people in a family 'absolute'?

They are 'relative', that's why they are called relatives.

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What do you call people who work together in a chocolate factory?

Cocoa co-workers.

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What did the rancher say to the person he thought was taking down parts of his fence?

I'm accusing you, but I hope you don't take offence.

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What do you call a camel that acts?

A drama-dary.

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What is similar between paying for a meal and ducks?

They both have bills.

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What is the richest perfume.

Musk.

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What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

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What was it called when Samantha texted her friend about the great date she was on?

It was an update about the up date.

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