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Akiva Lane
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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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What do you call a piece of pottery in the shape of a duck?

A quack pot.

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Why did Alan shoot an arrow into the wind?

He liked shooting the breeze.

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Why did Marty want to be an electrician?

He thought it would be an electrifying experience.

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Akiva Lane
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When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

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What does a car say when you fill it up with gas?

Tanks.

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Akiva Lane
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Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

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Akiva Lane
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What do small boats and computers have in common?

They both can be used for fishing using a net.

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Did Betty know where her lost ring was?

Off hand, she didn't know.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an arrangement with UPS, Fedex, or DHL to send a package called?

A package deal.

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Why did Olivia put on a hat whenever she wanted to keep a secret?

Because she had to keep the secret under her hat.

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When Joe was very tired, why did he go to the police station?

Because he needed arrest.

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