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Akiva Lane
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How is a face similar to a shoe?

They both have a tongue.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill enjoy working in building demolition?

He thought it was a blast!

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim put paper money into the stream?

His accountant said he needed better cash flow.

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Akiva Lane
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What fruit did the restaurant serve to young couples getting to know each other?

Dates.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill bring a hammer to the party?

He thought it might be useful to break the ice during conversations.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Arial, Helvetica, and Courier fonts say to each other?

You're not my type.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call flies that are attracted to the smell of thyme?

Thyme flies.

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Akiva Lane
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What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

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Akiva Lane
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What did Max say when the mechanic said he must fix the car brakes?

Those are the breaks.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Frankenstein say when he got older?

My mind isn't what it used to be.

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