Pictures:

What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

174

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

When we feel blessed, why do we feel like singing?

Because the word blessing ends with the word sing.

2762

How did President Johnson always know the right thing to say?

A little Birdie told him.

1136

How did Bill react when he saw graffiti in his school?

He knew that the handwriting was on the wall.

468

How did the rock group debase themselves?

By firing their bass player.

2017

What do you call a closet filled with bottles of water?

A water closet.

3269

Where do superman and batman live?

Capetown.

1732

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

959

Which fruits pair well with Chinese food?

Mandarin oranges or pears.

1052

What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

1405

What begins and ends with E but has only one letter?

Envelope.

950