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Which U.S. city do people have the hardest time losing weight?

Gainesville, FL

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Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

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What's similar between the last stop on a train and a lion's tail?

They are both the end of the lion.

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How did the comb feel after it had its teeth made thinner?

It felt fine.

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Why is there a school in England that teaches people about different types of plates?

Because they feel that it's important for people to know their plates.

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Why did the police enter the comedy club?

The comedian was a riot.

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How did the sergeant know that he could take all the blankets that were needed?

He had blanket permission.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

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Where did the army put their best soldiers?

On the front lions.

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What factors have helped Amazon retain repeat business?

Free Shipping and Auto-Ordering are two Prime examples.

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What would Freud say if he made a commercial?

"Let go of my ego".

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What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

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