Pictures:

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

What is it called when husbands tell puns to their wives?

Pun-ishment.

93

What is a rebellious tick called?

A heretic.

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What is it called when a boat company has a special discount on sailboats?

A sail-sale-celebration.

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What happens when a person sleeps on old magazines?

He has back issues.

595

What did Max do when the plumbing company made a mess of trying to fix the bathroom blockage?

He decided to sue her.

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What was Billy's reaction when he saw how many tiers of steps he had to climb to his seat in the last row?

It brought tiers to his eyes.

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How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

2583

Why was the rabbit jumping for joy?

Because it was very hoppy.

3199

What did the seal with the broken arm say to the shark?

Do not consume when seal is broken.

1398

Why should we be careful about illusions?

Because it begins with the word 'ill'.

106

What is a doctor called who takes care of stomach gas?

A fizz-ician.

885