Pictures:

Why did Betty enjoy the Uber ride?

It gave her a lift.

360

What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

1382

Why does this horse always give leg cramps to its riders?

His name is Charley.

1275

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

1164

What is the electric company in Qatar called?

Electric Qatar.

2029

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

140

How did the the drunkard summarize his drinking binge?

With a short schnapsis

181

During negotiations, why did one side suggest that they continue at the local diner?

They wanted to make a counter offer.

2437

It escapes me.

1308

What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

2122

Why did the unemployed actor break his leg?

He wanted to be in a cast.

406