Pictures:

What kind of running causes things to become empty?

Running out of things.

2542

What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

294

Why is the Pillsbury doughboy a hippie?

He's a flour child.

11

What can you say about the courtroom of Judge Alan Fier?

Each of his trials was a trial by Fier.

2189

What is a book about all the things that a person thinks they should have done differently?

An oughta-biography.

1341

Why did Emily like making her bed in the morning?

Because then she felt like she had it made.

2568

Is there anything absolute about families?

It's all relative.

1728

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

What do you call lox served in an apartment?

Pad lox.

1428

What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

1382

What can you say about a teacher without any students?

He's in a class all by himself.

1133

What do you call an ant that is good at finance?

An account ant.

2710