Pictures:

What is this person doing?

He's really using his noodle.

2838

Why did the politician like to winnow grain on the farm?

He liked how it is spelled: win now.

2233

Why did people find this very alarming?

They thought it was egg stream.

3286

What does Shakespeare getting sick have to do with feeling angry at someone?

ILL WILL.

252

What is the study of focusing on others called?

Yourology

1116

Who owns the largest number of private business aircraft?

King Lear

321

What does a faucet, a clock, and an athlete have in common?

The are all running.

2625

Which psychiatry specialty deals with bizarre behavior?

Off-the-wall-ogy

2002

How did Jeff's friends realize he finished his entire "bucket list" over the weekend?

He looked pail

1464

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

Why did Arlene bring a piece of wood and a dog to her first weaving class?

She heard they were going to learn about the warp and the woof.

1901

What 5 letters are just empty energy?

MTNRG

83