Pictures:

Why did the gardener see a dermotologist?

Because of his green thumb.

217

What did the man say when needing to repair his socks?

Darn!

2545

What can have both a good and bad result?

Pennies from Heaven

209

How did Joe afford an expensive water filter system for his home?

At a liquidation sale.

1212

Is basting a real stitch?

Mmm...sew-sew.

2326

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044

Why is a Phillips-head screwdriver so popular?

People see it as a plus.

1403

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

Which horse did the cowboy only ride after dark?

A night mare

189