Pictures:

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

Why did Joe work in a pizza shop?

He kneaded the dough.

8

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

What's he doing?

Flying by the seat of his pants.

1281

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

What do you do when your electrical system short-circuits?

Re-fuse to make it work.

845

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

Prime mates

3222

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

P.T. Barnum was right...

There is a sucker born every minute.

1306

Why did the pastry chef cut her chocolate cake at such sharp angles?

She wanted Brownie points

211

What is the study of focusing on others called?

Yourology

1116