Pictures:

How did Madam Sonia become a fortune teller?

By "chants"

1996

Why don't gluten-free people consume wheat?

It goes against their grain.

436

Which doctor would you want overseeing your bacterial infection?

The Chief of Staph

187

Why did Joe use so much weather stripping?

He opposed the draft.

1819

Which division of a hospital has the best patient supervision?

The "I see you" (ICU)

1007

What is 100-proof Wild Turkey?

Seeing a wild turkey with your own eyes.

1799

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

What do you call the owner of a curtain ring company?

The ringleader

378

How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

1397

Why did the cybercriminal stop, and get a real job?

He couldn't hack it.

2241

What happened to this couple just before the wedding?

They disengaged.

1086

What is a good chili recipe?

Go outside without a coat.

1470