Pictures:

What was the frustrated mother grateful for after trying to toilet train her toddler?

ICBM

332

Why did the quarterback run instead of throwing to his wide receiver?

He was cut off at the pass.

492

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

What happens if certain fowl don't build insulated nests for winter?

They go cold turkey.

1276

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

How much does a teenager weigh?

An Instagram.

796

Why do some people love bowling?

It's right up their alley.

1263

How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

1483

What do you call having a talent for making fun of others?

Special Tease

349

What did Reggie name his band?

The Regimen

1115

What's he doing?

Flying by the seat of his pants.

1281

What do you call an Arabic Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup

2284