Pictures:

What did the king's wife say to the king?

Reign, dear.

1

Why did Beth and Charlie spend their vacation in a run down motel?

The other places were full, and this was a last resort.

1652

Why can you trust an expert in sound systems?

He gives sound advice.

1207

Why is a pet lusion that seems to be sick not really sick?

Because it's an ill lusion.

1612

Why were the vegetables upset when Marty put salt on them?

They felt assaulted.

2907

How do you convey to somewhat that you think they are special?

You nique.

444

Why is 8 followed by 9?

Because if you're offered food after you ate, you say: Nein.

3293

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

417

What is the healthiest kind of table?

A vege-table.

1017

Why did Nancy like turning on light bulbs?

She enjoyed the experience of 'seeing the light'.

2070

Why did Fred avoid eating hard cheese such as Swiss cheese?

He preferred eating cheese that is easier.

1841

What do sales people do when they make big sales?

They have a sell-abration.

1770