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Akiva Lane
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What did the king's wife say to the king?

Reign, dear.

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Why did Beth and Charlie spend their vacation in a run down motel?

The other places were full, and this was a last resort.

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Why can you trust an expert in sound systems?

He gives sound advice.

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Why is a pet lusion that seems to be sick not really sick?

Because it's an ill lusion.

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Why were the vegetables upset when Marty put salt on them?

They felt assaulted.

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How do you convey to somewhat that you think they are special?

You nique.

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Why is 8 followed by 9?

Because if you're offered food after you ate, you say: Nein.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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What is the healthiest kind of table?

A vege-table.

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Why did Nancy like turning on light bulbs?

She enjoyed the experience of 'seeing the light'.

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Why did Fred avoid eating hard cheese such as Swiss cheese?

He preferred eating cheese that is easier.

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What do sales people do when they make big sales?

They have a sell-abration.

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