Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What did the jigsaw puzzle man have trouble with?

He found it hard to pull himself together.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Martha feel about going back to work on Monday?

It was a weak day.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

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Akiva Lane
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When Arnold found a well full of bees, why did he avoid it?

Because he wanted to be well.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Jeremy concerned when he couldn't take off his pickle costume?

Because if he couldn't get it off, he was really in a pickle.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was there a rainbow after the flood of Noah's ark?

Because he passed with flying colors.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the moose get into the restaurant?

The customer asked for mousse, and the waiter brought him one.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do prophets tell others about their visions?

The prophet motive is to wake people up to the truth.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between starting a new job and eating hotdogs?

With one you try to pass muster, and with the other you pass the mustard.

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