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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

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Akiva Lane
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How is Jim doing at his new job hanging up clothes in the department store?

He's getting the hang of it.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a website have in common with a tightrope walker?

They're both online.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a prosecutor that doesn't respect defendants rights called?

A persecutor.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of bird doesn't sing, but only hums?

A hummingbird.

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Akiva Lane
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How often is there a blue moon?

Once in a blue moon.

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How did Martha feel about going back to work on Monday?

It was a weak day.

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Akiva Lane
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When Betty felt the need to express herself, what did she do?

She drove on the the expressway.

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Akiva Lane
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Because Gus was always happy, what was his nickname?

Fungus.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between starting a new job and eating hotdogs?

With one you try to pass muster, and with the other you pass the mustard.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you take when you're tired?

You can take a nap or you can take a break.

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Akiva Lane
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What day in September do women give birth?

Labor day.

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