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What did farmer Bill Rath call the grapes that grew in his vineyard?

Grapes of Rath.

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What did people call their activity of dashing things over the cliffs onto the rocks 100 yards below?

The hundred yard dash.

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What happened when Max’s wife asked him to get plums from the grocery store?

He plum forgot.

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When Arnold found a well full of bees, why did he avoid it?

Because he wanted to be well.

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Why didn't Bill like going to the aquarium?

He thought there was something fishy about the place.

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What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

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What letters are asleep?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's

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What do great track stars and confused people have in common?

They run around in circles.

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How did the teacher feel when he realized that no one was paying attention to him?

He felt like he was the chairman of the bored.

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What do you call a person who makes great bagels and lox?

A lox-smith.

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Why did Eileen Terr's name confuse people?

Because people called her Miss Terr.

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How can you help people who are suspicious?

Change the first letter of suspicious from S to A, to make it auspicious.

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