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Why did Matt run in the desert?

For the big race, he wanted to make a dry run.

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Why didn't Betty want to talk about the bed that her dog Dignity was sleeping on?

She felt it was beneath her dignity.

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What name for cigarettes describes the harm they do?

Sick-arettes.

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Why did Betty fix her watch quickly?

She wanted to have a good time.

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What is the result of the fact that there are 7 trillion nerves in the human body?

Sometimes we feel like a bundle of nerves.

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Why is the 'sea-food' diet so effective?

You see the food, but you don't eat it.

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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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What did the waiter get when he served a meal of iceberg lettuce?

The tip of the iceberg.

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In what direction do people clean?

They clean up.

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What is a nursery for babies called?

A wiggle room.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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What did the seamstress say when she couldn't fix a hole in a sweater?

Oh darn it!

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