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Akiva Lane
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When you put chili sauce in the refrigerator in Santiago, what does it become?

Chile chilly chili sauce.

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Akiva Lane
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What did it mean when the professional football players argued with the prisoners in a football game?

The argument had its pros and cons.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Ben drink Maxwell House coffee before he went parachute jumping?

He wanted to be good to the last drop.

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Akiva Lane
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What does an orchestra and a destructive mob have in common?

They both have violins.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the unemployed actor break his leg?

He wanted to be in a cast.

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Akiva Lane
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How do Mr. & Mrs. Deer say hello to each other?

Hello Dear.

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Akiva Lane
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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good name for a car repair shop, that takes care of cars like a mother cares for children?

Good Car Ma

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Akiva Lane
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What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a valley where convicted criminals make silly jokes?

Silly con valley.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an insect that hums?

Humbug.

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Akiva Lane
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Did Arlene like the new vacuum cleaner?

She thought it sucks.

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