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Akiva Lane
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Akiva Lane
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What animal does Niagara Falls remind us of?

Buffalo, because that's where Niagara Falls is.

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Akiva Lane
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How can you hold air?

By holding your breath.

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What is the name of a locksmith store where the locksmith has blond hair

Goldi Locks.

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How does wheat and rice know how to grow?

It's ingrained in them.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a tile that can do many things?

Versa tile.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Maxine want to charge the lightbulb with a saltwater battery?

She didn't want it to be charged with salt and battery.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about a bagel with a very large hole?

It's hole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a city is overrun by cats?

A cat-astrophe.

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What happened when the skunk hurt his nose?

It didn't smell anymore.

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How did Johnny feel when he spent all the pennies in his piggy bank?

It left him cents-less.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Amanda surprised that this perfume was so expensive?

She was told it was worth a red scent.

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