Pictures:

What do we wear on our wrist that is similar to the people who guard a rock band?

The watchband.

2353

Why did the owners of the Secure Hotel change its name?

The guests felt uncomfortable being in Secure.

1883

What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

79

Why was the newborn baby bored?

Because his mother just bore him.

1781

Why was Fred confused by forms?

Because he didn't know if he should fill them IN or fill them OUT.

1010

When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

1663

How is the political system similar to the pages in a book?

Because everything is either justified right or justified left.

359

What can you learn from watching a pear tree grow?

You can learn more about how to pre-pear.

2705

What is a berry that doesn't tell the truth about its books?

A lie berry.

398

What bidding in the bridge card game do Democrats like?

No trump.

662

Why didn't Pharaoh believe anything Moses said?

It was in a State of de Nile.

547

What is a gun in a hat called?

A cap gun.

1238