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What is someone called who tunes the instruments for an opera house?

An opera tunist.

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What is similar between the Amazon jungle and tennis?

The Amazon used to have cannibals and tennis has a can of balls.

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Why was the newborn baby bored?

Because his mother just bore him.

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What does a popular website have in common with a highway at rush hour?

They both have a lot of traffic.

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Why don't matadors take bulls seriously?

Because they know that they are full of bull.

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What do you call a pair of pants that wants to be forever young?

Peter pants.

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Why did the therapist keep a bell in his office?

If what he said didn't ring a bell with the patient, he could ring the bell for the patient.

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What are axes that are used by criminals called?

Axes of Evil.

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Why did the Jack-in-the-Box have trouble getting married?

He was an out-of-the-box kind of guy.

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Why didn't the inventor try to make a car engine totally out of wooden parts?

Because he knew it wooden work.

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What happens to an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

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How do you describe a person's writing that has lots of verbs?

It re-verb-erates.

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