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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty fix her watch quickly?

She wanted to have a good time.

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Akiva Lane
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What's an attitude in life that can make things harder?

Taking things for granite.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Michael Sherlock call the housing development that he built?

Sherlock Homes.

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Akiva Lane
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What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Sandy sure that her daughter would become an actress?

Because every time she didn't get her way, she would make a scene.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe, in his new job, feel like the wheels of a car?

He felt tired and under pressure.

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Akiva Lane
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Why does the world have problems?

Because it is bi-polar.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the farm worker disappointed?

He thought he was promised a good salary, but they gave him a good celery.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the name of a locksmith store where the locksmith has blond hair

Goldi Locks.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Bill promise his wife that he would be a billionaire?

Because that didn't look very promising.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a small circle that is very relaxed?

Dot calm.

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