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What does a snake say when it bites?

Don't take it poisonally.

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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

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What is it called when a homeowner tries to stop a foreclosure of his house?

House keeping.

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Why did Fred buy stock in the perfume company?

The way they made cents from their scents made sense.

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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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What is cleaning and oiling a pogo stick called?

Spring cleaning.

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What is a room that has mold called?

A mush room.

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What can happen if a person has too much debt?

It can debt-inate.

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Why did Arnold print out the word MONEY and put it into his chopped liver?

He wanted to spread the word.

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When did the mother of a newborn boy wake up?

At son rise.

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What did Gil's back say when he returned from a trip?

I'm back.

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