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Akiva Lane
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What was Judy's reaction when the milk spilled on the floor?

No use crying over spilled milk.

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Akiva Lane
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What is this?

B4 before B4.

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Akiva Lane
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Are people in a family 'absolute'?

They are 'relative', that's why they are called relatives.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Andrea not want to take papers out of the file cabinet?

She was concerned that they might become defiled.

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Akiva Lane
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What scoring system is used for the sport of curling?

Curl marks.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a policeman called when he's sleeping in bed?

An undercover cop.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about the stories of how staples, paper-clips, and thumb-tacks were developed?

They are all fasten-ating.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the jigsaw puzzle man have trouble with?

He found it hard to pull himself together.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a place where crows drink beer?

A crow bar.

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Akiva Lane
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What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the seamstress say when she couldn't fix a hole in a sweater?

Oh darn it!

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Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

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