Pictures:

Why did Sam get up from bed in the morning?

He decided he wasn't going to take it lying down anymore.

750

Why didn't Jack like playing Monopoly?

He felt like he was going around in circles.

644

Why did Ben find it so easy to sleep?

He could do it with his eyes closed.

3045

What is a husband and wife called in Czechoslovakia?

Czech mate.

2057

Why was the uncle's wife nervous?

She was feeling 'auntsy'.

2119

What 2 letters and 2 numbers mean 'safe dog'?

B9 K9

2037

While building his porch, why was Arnie looking for something called 'scratch'?

Because he was building it from scratch.

566

Why couldn't Melissa figure out Eddie Edwards?

To her, he was Mister E.

2012

If a leader doesn't have a clear inspiring vision, what is the result?

Di-vision.

250

Why did the prophet need glasses?

He was far-sighted.

2030

How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

2025

What is a knick-name for sharks?

Vicious fishes.

2179