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Akiva Lane
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When the phone caller said 'I hope I'm not disturbing you', how did Andy respond?

Andy said, "You can't disturb me, because I'm already disturbed".

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Akiva Lane
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What did people call their activity of dashing things over the cliffs onto the rocks 100 yards below?

The hundred yard dash.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of a computer screen doesn't speak so nicely?

The cursor.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of eyes are good for saving money?

Econom eyes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Jeremy concerned when he couldn't take off his pickle costume?

Because if he couldn't get it off, he was really in a pickle.

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Akiva Lane
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What fruit can't get married quickly?

Cantaloupe.

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Akiva Lane
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How holy did Bill feel that Heaven is?

He felt it was wholly holy.

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Akiva Lane
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When do you stop looking for something?

When you find it.

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Akiva Lane
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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a house where you go to become more aware?

A warehouse.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the magazine publisher go to a therapist?

He had a lot of issues.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe when someone eats too much too fast?

Haste makes waist.

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