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Akiva Lane

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What is the shine of a gold ring called?

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Its ring tone.

2133

Akiva Lane

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Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

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Because his nickname was 'Up'.

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Akiva Lane

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Why did Arnold print out the word MONEY and put it into his chopped liver?

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He wanted to spread the word.

2255

Akiva Lane

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Why did Martha like circles?

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Because it has the best all-around shape.

402

Akiva Lane

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What do you call a thief that leaves no clues?

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Stainless steal.

1658

Akiva Lane

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How do you describe pulling a penny out of the sewer?

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The ascent of a cent with a scent.

1674

Akiva Lane

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Why is ethics like art?

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You have to know where to draw the line.

Akiva Lane

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What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

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Silly Con Valley

1188

Akiva Lane

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What can be said about nurses who help patients with intravenous feeding?

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Their work is in vein.

Akiva Lane

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How did the head of the orchestra feel when he couldn't find people to play in it?

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It was disconcerting.

1712

Akiva Lane

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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

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A hernia.

328

Akiva Lane

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Why was the diver not so proud of diving into a bucket of water?

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Compared to all his other abilities, it was only a drop in the bucket.

1392

What is the shine of a gold ring called?

Its ring tone.

Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

Why did Arnold print out the word MONEY and put it into his chopped liver?

He wanted to spread the word.

Why did Martha like circles?

Because it has the best all-around shape.

What do you call a thief that leaves no clues?

Stainless steal.

How do you describe pulling a penny out of the sewer?

The ascent of a cent with a scent.

Why is ethics like art?

You have to know where to draw the line.

What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

Silly Con Valley

What can be said about nurses who help patients with intravenous feeding?

Their work is in vein.

How did the head of the orchestra feel when he couldn't find people to play in it?

It was disconcerting.

Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

Why was the diver not so proud of diving into a bucket of water?

Compared to all his other abilities, it was only a drop in the bucket.

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