Pictures:

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

959

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979

When Bobby threw a ball as hard as he could, why did it just come back to him?

He threw it up in the air.

989

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin.

975

What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

966

If you threw a white stone into the Red Sea, what would it become?

Wet.

994

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What did the lawyer wear to work?

A lawsuit.

969

What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters.

Post Office.

956

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993